Nothing makes you chuckle like a well-placed one-liners. And vintage comedies on screen? They really have a ton of them.
Consider “The Holy Grail,” a Monty Python sketch. Almost all of the amusing movie quotes from the 1975 release are still pretty humorous today. Perhaps even more so after reverberating over the past fifty years in popular culture.
Who hasn’t heard the old joke that goes, “I farted in your general direction,” or the one that makes you laugh out loud, “Your father smelt of elderberries and your mother was a hamster”?
Funny, huh?
In “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” Clark Griswold makes a classic comment when he finds Cousin Eddie standing in his living room. He adds, sarcastically, “Surprised, Eddie? I wouldn’t be any more shocked than I am right now if I woke up tomorrow with my skull stuck to the carpet.
Then there’s Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels in “Dumb and Dumber,” of course, a film full of classic lines like “According to the map, we’ve only gone four inches,” among many more.
You’ve come to the right place if you enjoy wisecracks and humorous movie quotations in general because we’ve compiled a list of the funniest lines from films including “Young Frankenstein,” “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery,” “Bridesmaids,” “Anchorman,” and a ton of other favorites.
These comedic nuggets are genuine gold, so grab a seat and prepare to have your knees slapped.
- Funny Quotes from Movies
“I wouldn’t let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my a–.” “Home Alone” (1990) – Buzz
Eddie, are you surprised? I wouldn’t be any more shocked than I am right now if I woke up tomorrow with my skull stuck to the carpet.” Clark Griswold, from the 1989 film “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”
“It’s pronounced ‘Fronkensteen.'” Dr. Frederick Frankenstein from the 1974 film “Young Frankenstein”
“I have never heard something so incredibly stupid as what you have just said. There was not even the slightest hint of a sensible thought in your longwinded, nonsensical response. After listening to it, everyone in this room is suddenly less intelligent.” “Billy Madison” Principal Max Anderson.
“Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.” – French soldier from the 1975 film “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”
- Funny Quotes from Movies
“I always start reading a new book by turning to the last page. So, I know how it ends in the unlikely event that I pass away before finishing.” Harry Burns (1989) in “When Harry Met Sally”
“I go for a look which I call ‘Dead-But-Delicious.'” From Vladislav’s 2014 book “What We Do in the Shadows.”
“I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.” “Anchorman” (2004), Ron Burgundy
“I believed I had mono for a full year. As it happened, I was just incredibly bored.” Wayne Campbell (1992) in “Wayne’s World”
“Who’s the only one here who knows secret Ninja moves from the government?” From Napoleon Dynamite’s 2004 film “Napoleon Dynamite.”
- Funny Quotes from Movies
“I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt because it says, like, ‘I wanna be formal, but I’m here to party, too.'” “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” (2006), Cal Naughton Jr.
“Your father is not you. He could put a lady with white gloves on a ketchup popsicle!” “Tommy Boy” by Richard Hayden (1995)
“I have a strong suspicion that life is about much more than just having amazing looks. And I’m going to find out just that.” Derek Zoolander, the 2001 film “Zoolander”
“Moley, moley, moley, moley, moley!” From Austin Powers’ 2002 book “Austin Powers in Goldmember.”
“I have nipples, Greg; could you milk me?” From Jack Byrnes’ 2000 film “Meet the Parents.”
- Funny Quotes from Movies
“I would like to express my regret. I’m not even sure which end that originated from.” “Bridesmaids” (2011), Megan
“I don’t want to talk to you anymore, you mindless wiper from an animal feeding bowl. I vaguely fart in your direction.” – French soldier from the 1975 film “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”
I see. Is this your wife? a beautiful woman. You’re okay, darling, I promise. Something must have existed in you before electricity.” Al Czervik (1980) in “Caddyshack”
“I’ll have what she’s having.” A diner in the restaurant said, “When Harry Met Sally…” 1989
“It’s just a flesh wound.” “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” (1975) by The Black Knight
- Funny Quotes from Movies
“Who’s there? Someone?” “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (1986) economics teacher
You weren’t yourself last night. You sounded like a wailing, desperate demon. I was scared of you. Repeat the action.” “The Addams Family” (1991) – Morticia
“Take this seriously. I simply swore.” In Sandy Lyle’s 2004 song “Along Came Polly,”
“Westley, good night. Well done. Rest well at night. I’m going to kill you in the morning for sure.” “The Princess Bride” (1987) by Dread Pirate Roberts
Would you believe someone if they told you wolverines are good home pets? Del Griffith, “Automobiles, Trains, and Aircraft” (1987)
- Funny Quotes from Movies
I find anything you do annoying. Additionally, I get annoyed by the things you know you’ll do when you get home when you’re not here.” Oscar Madison (1968) in “The Odd Couple”
She insulted me profusely, saying that I wasn’t paying attention to her or whatever. I was not really paying attention, I don’t know.” Harry Dunne (1994) in “Dumb and Dumber”
“I had a normal childhood. Rangoon summers: luge classes. We used to build meat helmets in the spring. I was beaten with reeds and put in a burlap bag when I was being impolite. Quite typical, actually.” “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” (1997), Dr. Evil
It is unclear to me why this product is referred to as ‘Hamburger Helper.’ It functions perfectly on its own, huh? Personally, I like it to Tuna Helper. Do you not, Clark?” Eddie, Cousin, “Vacation” (1983)
When tigers take their little tiger siesta, what dreams do they have? Is it their dream to maul zebras? Or Halle Berry dressed like Catwoman?” Stu Price, 2009’s “The Hangover”
- Funny Quotes from Movies
“Apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, the fresh water system and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?” Reg (1979) in “The Life of Brian”
“I apologize for making fun of you when you had diarrhea in Barnes & Noble. And I apologize for telling everyone about it. I apologize for repeating it here as well. From Karen Smith’s 2004 film “Mean Girls.”
“If you aren’t first, you’re last.” “Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby” (2006), Ricky Bobby
“Don’t be jealous that I’ve been chatting online with babies all day.” “Napoleon Dynamite” by Kip (2004)
The tale is the same as before. boy meets a female. Boy breaks up with girl. Girl meets boy. boy overlooks the girl. Boy recalls the girl. On New Year’s Day, a sad blimp accident over the Orange Bowl results in the death of a girl.” From “The Naked Gun,” Lt. Frank Drebin”
- Funny Quotes from Movies
“Being tardy is not something you can handle by yourself. I was late because of a lot of people. I want to express my gratitude to the bus driver in Los Angeles for taking a chance on an unknown child and to my parents for never providing me with a ride to school. Finally, but just as importantly, the amazing McDonald’s staff for spending hours creating those Egg McMuffins—without which I might never be late.” In “Clueless” (1995), Travis
“Before you make those kinds of demands, you should put a note on your door that says, ‘Do not come into my room and read my diary and wear my clothes.” “Bridesmaids” (2011), Gil
“May I please refill your eggnog? Obtain you a bite to eat? Take you to the middle of nowhere and abandon you there to die?” ― Clark Griswold, from the 1989 film “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.”
“A beautician? It’s unbelievable. That is quite remarkable. It must be difficult to deal with weightlessness.” “The Jerk” by Navin Johnson (1979)
“If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball.” “Dodgeball” (2004), Patches O’Houlihan
- Funny Quotes from Movies
“The majority of guys will perform at ten. Here, you’re on 10. all the way upward. all the way upward. all the way upward. On your guitar, you’re at ten. What other options do you have? Where?” “This is Spinal Tap” by Nigel Tufnel (1984)
“I would dress up as Robin if we were going to a Halloween party dressed as Batman and Robin. That’s how much I value you.” Chazz, “Blades of Glory” by Michael Michaels (2007)
She is given a unique scent. Odeon has named it “Sex Panther.” It is prohibited in nine nations. Yes, you can be sure it’s high quality because it contains real panther parts. From Brian Fantana’s 2004 film “Anchorman.”
“According to the map, we’ve only gone four inches.” Harry Dunne (1994) in “Dumb and Dumber”
“I mean business. And don’t refer to me as Shirley. Dr. Rumack, from the 1980 film “Airplane.”
- Funny Quotes from Movies
“There are only two things I can’t stand in this world: People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures and the Dutch.” Nigel Powers, “Austin Powers in Goldmember” (2002)
“I simply made the decision to stop trying and become a teacher since those who can’t do well teach. And the incompetent teachers teach gym.” Dewey Finn from “School of Rock”
“My name is Dude. You know, that’s what you call me. That or, if you’re not into the whole brevity thing, His Dudeness, Duder, or El Duderino.” In “The Big Lebowski” (1998), The Dube
“Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here.” “Back to the Future Part II” by Biff Tannen (1989)
“Mamma says that alligators are ornery because they’ve got all their teeth but no toothbrush.” Bobby Boucher’s 1998 film “The Waterboy”
